What’s the Real Reason for Approach Anxiety?
There’s a term called “approach anxiety,” which means that when a man sees an attractive woman he’d like to talk to, he gets scared and hesitates. Deep inside, he starts to doubt himself. His mind is racing. Heart is pounding out of his chest. His palms are soaked with sweat. In the end, he never talks to the woman he desires, and instead leaves all alone. It’s a common scenario faced by many men in the nation, but there are many options available that these men can use to overcome these fears.
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The first option is to attend a pick-up artist school for a weekend. I understand that there’s a lot of controversy surrounding pick up artists, but I think there’s something to be learned from all sources. We should keep the good and the useful, while ignoring the bad. Just like we would see a dating expert to improve our dating skills and a relationship expert to help improve our relationship, men who have no idea how to approach women may benefit from some pick-up artist techniques. Remember, pick-up artistry is only a tool, like a bat, shovel or gun. A man has a choice whether to use a tool for good or for evil.
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The pick-up artist will bring you to an environment that is rich with single, attractive women where they will evaluate your current skills. After they see what level you are on, they will tell you what your weaknesses are and what you can do to improve them. They will help you identify your fears and then overcome them. Many pick up artists will tell you that approach anxiety is all in your head. While growing up, you most likely had a bad experience that caused you to feel fear when faced with a similar situation, such as talking to women.
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Or you never approached a woman before, and therefore have no clue as to what to say or do when talking to her. This alone can cause many men to feel intense stress, because they’re afraid they will not only fail, but fail miserably. If the woman gets extremely rude while shooting him down in front of others, it will only cause the little self-confidence that he has left to shrink even smaller. Of course, many pick-up artist will tell you that if you approach a woman the right way, all the bad stuff that you think will happen most likely won’t ever happen at all. And if it does happen, it’s usually never even close to being as bad as we always imagine it to be.
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When you see an attractive woman that you want to talk to, never whistle, call to her or make any rude comments. You’d be surprised how many men do this and make a complete fool out of themselves. Never put yourself down in front of a woman. Don’t make remarks like “I’m probably too ugly for you,” or “You’d probably never go on a date with me.” Don’t go out like you just woke up and haven’t taken a shower for twenty years. Why handicap yourself?
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If you cant afford to attend a pick-up artist camp for the weekend, you can hire a pick up artist for a few hours or pay for a few phone sessions. You will get to see a pickup artist in action and see how it’s done, which will ease a lot of the stress that you will feel when approaching women when you’re out alone. Of course you will still have to put yourself out there, but at least you will have the guidance you need, especially if you’re new to approaching women.
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Another problem that causes men to have approach anxiety is that they forgot what role they play when it comes to dating women. They think that if a woman doesn’t say hi to them or ask them out on a date, that obviously the woman must not like them. Their confidence level sinks because they think women don’t find them attractive. These are the guys that don’t go on dates for over fifteen years and wonder why they are always alone. Don’t wait for women to approach you or say hi. I know it’s 2011, but it’s still the guy’s job to ask the woman out on a date. If you don’t have the confidence to ask a woman out, then you have no business looking for a date in the first place. Many good-looking guys have the lowest confidence I’ve ever seen because they think that all women will talk to them just because of their looks alone. Women have fears of rejection also, and if a guy doesn’t ask them out, they feel like he’s not interested in them. How would you feel if the tables were turned? You are the woman and you want a guy to ask you out so badly but never does. Stop having unrealistic expectations of getting asked out, and just ask a woman out already. You might just be surprised.
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If attending a seminar or hiring a pick-up artist isn’t possible, there’s always the great selection of books available on Amazon that will help teach the basics and get you headed in the right direction. Just remember that it’s always better to take baby steps when first starting out. If you start out too fast too soon, you most likely will make some major mistakes – and guess what? All those bad things that you imagined happening, most likely will happen. Start out slow and improve your skills as you gain more confidence.
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Remember that approach anxiety is caused by imagining all the worst stuff happening due to bad experiences you had while growing up – but you’re an adult now. Those things that happened most likely happened ages ago, and with the right frame of mind won’t ever happen again. Don’t let outside forces control your life. You are a man now, and men control their own destiny. So get out there, and don’t let me hear you make any excuses.
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