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Dating: Is it REALLY This Complicated?
The existence of a soul mate has been explored in countless dating books, chick flicks and endless Taylor Swift songs (hang in there, girlfriend!). While no one can scientifically prove that soul mates exist, there are certain couples who define the mold. Here, Russian-mates asks happily married women ages 28 to 89 how they unpredictably met their other half–proving that when it comes to love, fate just may be playing a hand.
Ashley, 28, married for five years:
“I met my soul mate, Chris, nine years ago and married him five years ago. I was a freshman in college staking out all the older hotties in the cafeteria with my roommates one day, when I saw this guy walk in. Right then and there I told my friends, ‘That is the guy I’m going to marry one day.’ My roommates, Maggie and Amy, chuckled while Ariel rolled her eyes. I sighed…if only life was that simple, I thought. For the next couple of days, being the stalker I am, I deliberately had run-in’s with him: In the elevator, between classes, at the gym…I just wanted this guy to notice me.
Well, he did. Halleluja! Hector, a mutual friend of ours (whom I didn’t realize was so chummy with Chris) showed up at my room one night telling me his friend wanted to meet me. I didn’t know who the friend was, but I thought, ‘Why not? Tell him to stop by whenever.’
Less than 24 hours later, my life changed forever. There was a knock at my door and I opened it, only to see my crush standing on the other side. A million thoughts ran into my head: ‘OMG why is he here? Did he catch me spying on him? He’s sooo much hotter up close. My breathe, does it smell? My outfit! Ugh why am I wearing this ugly outfit!’ If he could have heard all the thoughts, he would have ran for his life.
‘Umm, hi. Can I help you with something?’ I asked. He smiled. The perfect smile that I would later wake up every morning to, and that same smile that came out when he saw our baby for the first time.
‘I’m Chris,’ he said. ‘Hector’s friend…are you interested in doing something tonight?’ The rest is history.
Jessica, 30, married for six years:
“I was driving to work one day, blasting out to a Nelly Furtado song when a car ahead of me slammed on the breaks. I quickly did the same, but the car behind me wasn’t as fast–he bumped right into me. Ugh, I thought! I was late to work and the last thing I wanted was this. I got out of the car to see the damage, and I noticed, despite what a bad driver he was, he was actually pretty cute. My car was fine, and he kept apologizing. I said it wasn’t a big deal, and we both exchanged insurance card info. I was ready to drive away when he asked for my number, telling me maybe dinner would make up for him not paying attention on the road. I said sure, and joked that I should drive on the first date. Our first date was unforgettable–we clicked right away. He’s my best friend, and if he never crashed into me, we might not have ever met.”
Amy, 32, married for seven years:
“Bars never struck me as the place to meet my knight in shining armor. The floors are sticky, it’s loud and most guys always seemed like they were only looking for one thing: sex. I was out with my girlfriends, enjoying being single, avoiding the creepers around me. Then, a cute guy, Jared, approached me and started talking to me. I thought, ‘Oh great, another guy trying to get me to go home with him.’ But Jared was different–he asked me about me and was actually listening. At the end of the night, he asked for my number. I gave it to him, wondering if he’d ever call. He did…the next day, and we went on our first date. Now we’re still together and have two kids. There’s no doubt that he’s my soul mate. I never thought a bar would be where I’d meet my match, but you know, I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.”
Courtney, 33, married for five years:
“When I was in graduate school, I was dating a guy pretty seriously–all signs were pointing that he was ‘the one.’ I worked at the college’s gym at night, and I had a good friend there named Patrick. He was younger and funny, definitely the typical college guy who was always cracking jokes, but not someone who I could see myself seriously dating. We would order Chinese food together when we worked the late shift, and he’d talk about his GF while I talked about my BF. Patrick was a great guy, but I never thought anything of it. We continued to be close friends when my relationship hit some major downs: My BF was acting really distant and was talking about ‘needing a break.’ Not exactly what I wanted to hear from someone I was planning my future with.
The relationship came to a breaking point when I walked into his apartment–and saw him on top of another girl. My life changed before my eyes: He was cheating on me. I screamed, cried and ran out of there as fast as I could. Who was the first person to comfort me? Patrick. He listened, hugged me, and did everything he could to convince me at all hours of the night why my ex didn’t deserve one call from me. Slowly, I began to realize the one person I really loved was right in front of me: Patrick. He and his GF had already parted ways, and we were spending more and more time together, all the pain of my ex becoming a distant memory.
Patrick has never left my side since. Now, he laughs that he wants to send a “thank you” card every year on our anniversary to my ex–to thank him for letting me go. I think the real person who deserves a thank you card is Patrick, because he’s the one who really saved me. There are rainy nights now when Patrick and I order Chinese food for us and our two kids, and I catch myself looking at him, laughing–the same way I did many years ago, when he was just my friend.”
Helen, 89, married for 64 years before her husband passed away last December:
“I never really knew if soul mates existed. It seemed unrealistic. But Jack changed that for me. I met Jack at a community dance one night, and I invited him back with a bunch of friends to my house afterward. He kept telling me how beautiful I was and spent the whole night dancing with me. I was from a big family, and my mother was always up late, cooking for all us or sewing clothes. My father was sleeping, he had work in the morning. My friends and I talked in the living room, listening to music. Jack made his way into the kitchen and was talking my mom’s ear off, talking about everything. I was embarrassed, but she seemed to love the company. My friends headed home, and Jack continued talking to my mother, until late hours in the night. My dad yelled downstairs, ‘Who is that boy? Tell him to leave my house!’ But my mother continued the conversation, saying how nice he was. Finally, I had to sleep and he got up to leave. He kissed me on the cheek goodnight and left our house. My mother looked at me and said, ‘He’s a special boy, that one.’ After that night, Jack continued to come visit–still close to my mom, quickly winning over my dad, and becoming the love of my life. We got married, had three kids, and happily enjoyed our marriage for 64 years. Jack passed away in December, and each day gets harder and harder without him. He’s my soul mate, and I miss him.”