The Post Date Text… Save Face or Man Up?

February 4, 2025 by No Comments

I’m baaack… after my traumatic break-up that was worst than a lifetime movie, I have finally returned to the real world and starting dating again. Friends have been really great with several of them wanting to set me up. After this past year I decided that it would be best to be totally open to anything and everything. I found a guy who met everything on “my list” and he turned out to be a sociopath, so at this point I really have nothing to lose!

A good girlfriend from college set me up with her 2nd cousin. We texted a little (I was out of town, he was busy) and finally met for dinner last week. I wanted to do drinks, he insisted on dinner. I knew VERY little about him before we met. Just that he was a little bit older (my friend had sent me a picture) and that he’s related to my girlfriend.

So, Friday night comes along. I’m not feeling this date at all so I stick with a very chill outfit (distressed skinnies, silk blouse, black booties and a leather jacket) and head out. The night goes like this…

8:00pm – I arrive. He texts… he’s running 10 mins late. All of the people in the very busy restaurant look at me like the sad 30-something girl who is getting stood up.

8:15pm – Date arrives. He has MUCH less hair than he did in his pic and is VERY grey… how old is he??

8:30pm – Date is 46! 11 years older than me and went to the same school AT THE SAME TIME as my dad’s wife. Date orders wine. A BOTTLE of wine. Apparently I’m stuck here for a while.

8:45pm – Date then orders several appetizers without asking me what I like to eat. Okay, then… Date tops off my wine.

9:00pm – Date tops off my wine. Unlike my fun self, I’m really not drinking very much!

9:15pm – Date tops off my wine.

9:30pm – Date tries to top off my wine. I pout the rest of the bottle in his glass.

10:00pm – Great convo, but it’s time to wrap this party up. The restaurant is now empty.

10:15pm – Date insists on walking me to my car on the 4th story of a huge parking structure he’s not parked in. Very sweet, but also a little creepy. He insists that I text him when I get home since I had “half a bottle of wine.” I say thanks and hug him goodbye. He kinda leans in, I hop in the car.

10:30pm – Text date “I’m home! Thanks again!” He responds with “really fun night!”

Sunday – Date texts “small talk, blah… How’s your week looking? Are you up for dinner again some night?”

My response – “small talk, blah… I really enjoyed our date, but don’t think there’s a love connection there. How would you feel about me setting you up sometime? I have a ton of gorgeous, amazing and successful friends I’d love to introduce you to. Let me know and I hope you have a great week!”

Date – “Hi. I feel the same way about the connection – really glad you agree. I’m definitely OK with a setup. I’ll return the favor if I can think of anyone who would be a good fit. It’s been a pleasure to meet you.”

Ok… so was I a bitch for stating there wasn’t a love connection? Was he a dick for agreeing with me or was he just saving face? Why ask me out again if you didn’t like me? I’ve been dating for A LONG TIME, but shit like this drives me nuts. Thoughts?

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