Signs That God Has a Sense of Humor
And if you don’t believe in God, then feel free to substitute God for Allah, Kool-Aid, Jetskis, or whoever you pray to when times are tough. Should the case be that you don’t pray or send a shoutout up to anybody then, well, just pretend the title of this post is, “Yo, That’s Crazy, Yo.”
So the person up above (unisex deism, FTW!) clearly has a sense of humor. I feel like most people have had moments where something happens and the only reason such a thing would occur is because your God or my God was clearly bored or blinked and shenanigans ensued. Hell, I pretty much say that on a daily basis lately.
Question, is it sacrilegious or at the very least in bad taste to put “hell” at the beginning of a statement when the preceeding statement specifically recognized a higher, assumed benevolent and merciful, being? These things keep me up at night.
So since the statement is so popular and the grass so green, I figured I’d share with you all few examples of what I really mean. #BARS #WHAT #GETLIKEME #SWAGMEOUT
1. Birth control making women sick
Flow with me. We’re all grown here so most of us know a lot of women taking birth control. One thing you learn about birth control as a man is that some pills make women sick. Others don’t. Fellas, next time a woman rejects you, don’t take it personal, their own bodies reject things they put in them…which…is not what she said, but could be if you squinted? Maybe? Anyway, say you’re a woman (pretend) and you forget to take your pill one day. So you double up the next day [Editor’s note: I have no idea if this makes any sense. – PJ] And let’s say that you become immediately nauseous. At like 9am. Are you nauseous because of the pill you just took? Or did the pill never take and #wallahmagic you’re with child. Only a humor-loving God would make a pregnancy indicator part of the anti-pregnancy process. That Allah, what a card. Don’t be dating a chick who always jumps the gun. Be up at 11pm and get that late text. #PUN (stolen from Lil Wayne. Attribution Squad).
2. Women being allergic to Latex
This one is kind of the gift that keeps on giving. Except the exact opposite. I need to explain how this even came to pass. On this blog and in various conversations I’ve had in real life with friends, etc, I’ve been amazed at how many women have stated they’re allergic to latex. ESPECIALLY considering (after some quick research) that a solid 95 percent of all sold condoms are latex. After a conversation with a friend last week, I was like, “man, this really is more prevalent than I thought…what the hell are the non-rawdog options?” Turns out, you’re left with lambskin (which is something that I’ve heard about but never even seen) which ONLY protects against pregnancy – not STDs – and/or non-latex, something I didn’t even realize existed. I’m not even quite sure what that means. Is it just rubber? Is it made of fairy glitter? Lady bug wings? To complete the murder, according to Amazon.com, everything but latex is super duper expensive. Seriously, peep the price points for lambskin. It’s like $45 for a box of 12.
The point here is this: God clearly enjoys human fallibility and potential bad decision making. I can totally see a couple learning about the allergy, deciding to try the other options, finding out hoe expensive they are, rationalizing (“well, you are on the pill right? And we both got tested? It’s not like we’re going anywhere…”) then rawdogging it til the cows come home. Only a deity with a sense of humor make a person allergic to the most common form of prevention of things that might kill you.
OF COURSE YOU COULD ALWAYS JUST ABSTAIN!
3. Come to think of it…allergies to grass, air, sun,
While none of those allergies are very funny at their worst, there has to be some kind of sick joke to make somebody allergic to grass, right? Short of being from the polar caps, Mongolia, or the some grassless place, most people are going to encounter grass. So this isn’t funny so don’t you dare laugh, but I’m pretty sure God did that for his own sh*ts and giggles. Which, again, might be sacrilege.
I don’t know, I really wrote this whole thing to talk about the first two because they just seem unusually cruel. And remarkably ironic and hilarious if you set the world in motion.
Again, that God, what a card.
What are signs you’ve seen that show you that God has a sense of humor?
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