A few days ago I read an article about the downturn the economy has taken.  Jobs are being lost left and right.  Unemployment insurance claims are at an all time high and we’re experiencing one of the highest unemployment rates in nearly a 8 decades.  That’s pretty big.

You’d think that there was no sector of the economy that was doing well, right?  Well just like with anything else, just because things suck for most people, there is one commodity that’s seeing a surge in sales.

Condoms.  Yep, baby batter catchers. Who’d a thunk it?

Then I thunk about it and sure enough, if I spend enough time thunking about it, it makes perfect sense.  People are broke right now so they can’t afford to go out as much anymore.  This means a lot more alone time in the house and since there’s only so much conversation most people are willing to have with their significant other, folks are resorting to the boudoir.

Well that resortion to the boudoire could result in both short term satisfaction and long-term pain.  And since folks can’t really afford to go out right now, imagine the strain on the wallet a kid would be.  So, smartly, people are buying the latex at a significantly higher clip than in prior years where the economy wasn’t in the crapper.  I must say that I’m proud of the fiscal responsibility that’s being shown.

(Aside:  Jermaine Dupri and Bow Wow’s song about being like father and son is absolutely one of the worst songs I’ve heard in a very long time.  Seriously.  The beat sucks and the song is as corny as corny can get.  I want the song to commit suicide.)

This got me to thinking:  what other segments of society that might not be readily apparent should be experiencing an increase?  Hmm, let’s delve.

Hair weave – Flow with me on this one.  In times of economic hardship, the golddiggers come out in full force trying to find a man who’s been able to weather the storm.  I mean, golddiggers got to eat too and their Wall Street Boo is falling on hard times right now.  Because nobody in their right mind can snag a sugardaddy being themselves, the best way to do it is a little female enhancement.  The right weave will convince the right dummy to take her home.  Throw in a killer wonderbra and it starts raining men.  Hallelujah.

Um.

Mary Jane – Nothing makes people forget about their problems like narcotics.  And no narcotic is as popular for the less than wealthy than a little bit of the Mary J. Juana.  Your local weedman probably has to beat folks away with a stick right now since everybody’s wallet is emptier than Mary Kate’s stomach.

By the way, I’m not sure which twin was in The Wackness, but that wasn’t that great a movie.  Sure it was better than I thought it might be and my homeboy Josh Peck was in it ( I love Drake & Josh).  But man was that movie the, well, wackness.  Just sharing, cuz I caring.

Moet White Star – When you go the club and want to buy a table, if you’re like me, you usually scoff at paying $300 bucks for a bottle of Patron, especially since you can get that same bottle for like $50 bucks at the liquor store adjacent to the club.  However, in times of downturn, folks still need to look like ballers.  The cheapest okay champagne to get is White Star.  It’s pretty cheap and tastes like asswater, but if you got a bottle then you probably got a table.  And if you got a table women will pay attention – probably not the ones you want to pay attention but any attention is good when you’re broke – so your chances of booty procural are increased.  And lucky for you, you pay attention to the status of the economy so you have beaucoup Jimi hats to prevent procreation.

At-a-boy.

These are just a few of the non-standard sectors of the economy that will likely experience a surge due to the flailing economy.  If I were you, I’d invest in Trojan, STAT.

Falks, what are some OTHER areas or products that should be seeing a surge due to the tanking economy???

And let’s get creative people.  A brotha like me is trying to get his entreprenuership on.

Sadatay.

Also read:

5 Dumb Reasons People Use to Avoid Dating

The Six Part Guide To Keeping A Woman Happy

Many Faces of Man

The Real Key to a Lasting Marriage

The Dumbest Arguments Couples Have

Recognizing a Toxic Partner Before It’s Too Late

Debunking Of Six Commonly Held Relationship Fallacies

Two Surefire Ways To Ensure Your Happiness

Dating Mistake That Educated Women Make

Living Together Before Marriage Is A Good Idea?

The Secret to Male Happiness