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Are the texts, pics, and videos you are carrying around with you on your handy dandy smartphone right now enough to get you busted by your girl if she were to sneak a peek?

Do you hang on to it like an NFL wide receiver headed to the end zone? Keep it close at hand, never letting it out of your sight for even a moment, lest it would be seized and searched by your lady friend?

Is it passcode protected, like “launch the nuclear weapon” passcode protected?

Yes, it probably is.

And why is that? Is there something in there that you feel a little guilty about?  Yes, there probably is. If you are anything like me, your phone is a walking evidence locker of indiscretions.  Sexts from the ex, soft-core pics from your lady friend or lady friends of days gone by, maybe a homemade video or two just for good measure.  And God only knows what else is floating around in there if she were to look hard enough.

So ask yourselves gentlemen, why do you carry around these pieces of incriminating evidence? Is it a modern day version of keeping a pair of panties from the girls you banged in high school as a reminder of your conquest?  Or is it just harmless fun? Either way, if your girl sees it, and eventually she probably will, it’s going to be a giant pain-in-the-ass argument that will end up with you looking like a dick.

Technology has made being shady so much easier, but it also leaves an electronic paper trail that is nearly impossible to erase.  Which also makes getting busted so much easier.  And, we girls are crafty like that. You give us unattended access to your phone for even a minute and we will go GeekSquad on that shit. What would happen if your girl got open access to your phone?  What would she find?  Would she be cool with it? I’m going to guess not.

Clean. It. Out.

What if you got hit by a bus and your mom came to claim your belongings and she went through your phone? Do you want to give the dear sweet woman a heart attack?

Clean. It. Out.