CARRY ME BEFORE YOU DIVORCE ME
In my wedding day, i carry my wife. The wedding car stop in front of our one room flat. My best friends ask me to carry her when she out from the car, so i carry her enter our house. she look so shy and I’m the happiest groom in that time. That’s what happen in 10 years ago.
After that, days past so simple like a clear water. we have a son. I start a business and try to earn a lots of money. But When the wealth increase, the love plait between us become recede. She is a civil employee, and every morning, we go to work together and back to our home in the same time. Our marriage look so happy.
But the peaceful life suddenly change because something that i never imagine before. Dew comes to my life. I still remember that time, the sunny day, i stood on the balcony with dew on my arms, I’m Holding her so tight. My heart once again like absorb to the love that she gave to me. This is the apartment that i bought to her. Dew spoke to me, “you are the best typical man that attract so many woman”.
Her words suddenly remain me to my wife. When we just married, my wife said to me, “A man like you, once you got your success, you will become so attractive for the women”. Thinking bout this, i become unsure. I know i betrayed my wife, but i couldn’t stop it. I release her hands and talked, “you have to go to buy some furniture, O.K? I need something to do at work.”
I can see, she look not happy because i promised will accompany her. In that time, divorce idea become so strong in my mind even its looks impossible. However I feel so hard to talk about this to my wife, no matter i explain, she will feel so much hurts. Honestly she a good wife. Every night she busy to prepare our dinner, i sit relax in front of television. Dinner will be ready soon, and we will watch TV together or I will turn on the computer. but imagine dew and her body is like amusement for me.
One day, I talk in a joke, “if we divorce, what will you do?”. She look at me in the seconds silently. In the fact she believe that divorce is a something that she never expected, so far from what she can imagine.
When my wife visit me in my office, Dew just out from my room. Almost all the staff look at wife with the sympathy look and try to hiding everything while talking to her. I knew she’s feel little bit suspicious, she try to keep smile to them, but i can read there’s a wound in her eyes. Once again Dew said to me, “He Ning, divorce her, O.K? and we will live together”. I nodded, i knew i cant be doubt anymore.
In the night, my wife prepare for dinner like usually she did, i hold her hand, “there’s something i have to said” she sit and eat in the silent. and once again i see that wound in her eyes. i don’t know what to said. “I ask for divorce” finally i can say it with serious but still calm. She looks not affectedly with my words, with softly she asked “why?”. “I mean it” i avoid to answer her question. This answer makes her so angry, she throw the chopstick and yell at me. “you are not a man”. after that we not talking to each other, she’s crying. I knew she really want to know what exactly happen to our marriage life, but i cant give the satisfy answer because my heart already gone, take by Dew.
With a deep guilty, i wrote divorce letter, my wife will get house, car and 30% share from my company. She look at it and rend it became a small pieces. Now i feel that hurts inside my heart, the woman that live with me for 10 years change like a stranger in my life. She’s cried in front of me, so loud, i never saw her cried like that before. for me her crying is my relief.
When i wake up in the midnight, i saw her still write, i back to sleep. she write her divorce provision. She didn’t want anything from me, but i have to give her time, a month, before i divorce her, and in a month we have to live together like before. The reason is simple, our son will finish his study soon and the holiday will coming, she don’t wan our son see that our marriage life is ended. She give that requirements and ask “He Ning, do you still remember how we enter this house in our wedding day?” this question bring me back to that beautiful memory, i nodded and said yes. “you carry me in your arm” she continued, “so, i have a request, you will still carry me in our divorce, from now until end of this month, every morning, you have to carry me out from our room to the front door.
I tell Dew about my wife divorce requirements. She laugh so hard and think that’s useless. “no matter trick that she trying to do, she has to face the result of this divorce” Dew say insult.
My wife and i never have a physique contact anymore after i tell her about this divorce. So when i carry her in the first day, we looks so clumsy. from our room to sitting room and the to the door. I walk about 10 meters with her in my arms. She close her eyes and said softly, “lets we start this day, with not tell this to our son” i nodded, feel little bit uncertain, i let her in the door. In the second day, its feel much easier. she’s lying in my chest, we are so close and i almost can smell the fragrant in her clothes.
I just realize its been so long time i never see this woman with tender. i saw she’s not young anymore, there’s several wrinkles in her face. In the third days, she whispered in my ears “the garden outside is under renovation, be careful when you walk there”. In the forth day, i wake her up, i feel that we still warm and tender like a husband and wife, and i carry my love in my arms, Dew reflection starting blur in my mind.
In the fifth and sixth day, she still remain me several things, such as, where she put my ironed clothes, i have to be careful when cook, etc. I nodded. this close feeling feel so tight. I didn’t tell Dew about this, i feel so light when i carry her, hoping going to work everyday can makes me strong. I told her “carrying you is not too difficult anymore”. She dress up and I’m waiting to carry her out. she try some clothes but couldn’t find the match one. and she look at me “all my dress now too big for me” I smile, but suddenly i found that she’s getting skinny, that’s why i feel so light when carry her, not because I’m strong. I know she buried all the sadness in her heart. once again i feel my heart feel so hurt, i touch her head unconsciously.
Our son came in that time “Dad, its the time to carry mom out” for him, to see his dad carry his mom become the important part in his life. She give a sign to our son to getting closer and hold him tight. I turn around my face because i afraid i will change my mind in the last second.
I carry her in my arms, walking from the room, pass the sitting room, to the terrace. her arm hold me with soft and nature. i hold her body with forceful, like we back to our wedding day, but she look so pale and skinny, makes me so sad.
In the last day i carry her, my step feel so heavy, our son already back to school and she said “honestly, i really hope that you will carry me until we old”, I hold her tight and said ” we not realize how beautiful our life”.
I jump out from the car without lock it, i scared i will change my mind if to late. I go to up stair and Dew open the door. I said to her “I’m so sorry Dew, i don’t wan to get divorce, i mean it”, she looked at me, shock and can’t believe what she heard. “sorry, Dew, I just can say sorry, i don’t wan to get divorce, my married life feel bored because she and i can’t see the real value of our life, but its not because we not love each other anymore. Now i understand since i carry her enter my house, she born my son and i will take care of her until old, so sorry Dew.”
Dew like wake up from a dream, she give a hard bash and bump the door, i can hear she crying loud. I down the stair and go to my office. On my way i pass the flower shop, i order my wife’s favorite flower bouquet. The seller ask me, what she must write in the card? I smile and write :
“I will carry you every morning until we old”
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