the five most underrated things about dating a sista
a couple of things dawned on me while at the house party i referenced in monday’s entry:
1. buffalo chicken dip really stings if it gets in your eye (dont ask)
2. the utter variety present within the population of black women
i mean, its not like i hadn’t realized this before. but, the potpourri of sistas present at this relatively small event further proved that from dark-brown or light and naturally curly or nappy to artist or athlete and southern belle or north philly firecracker, they’re like a combination platter at an all you can eat chinese buffet.
and, although i’m sure there are multiple variations among non-black women, part of what makes sistas so special is that within their endless assortments are a few common archetypes, recurring characters completely unique to the collective black narrative.
***personally, two of my favorites are “ms god/body with nice bubble perpetually hidden by her atache” (best exemplified by erykah badu) and “the surprisingly sweet hood chick with a heart of gold”***
anyway, this diversity made me think of a few other somewhat underrated things about dating sistas, and here’s four more
2. you always know you’re going to get some the day before they get their hair done
since they know they’re probably not going to want to have sex for a couple days after getting their hair did (for fear of “sweating it out”), most sistas basically turn into a brown skinned version of snookie from jersey shore the day before their hair appointments. seriously, you’d have to have less game than brian scalabrine to get turned down the day before hairday.
plus, since they know they’re getting a wash, press, and curl the next day, this is the one time you can be, ummmm, “creative” with what you do to and what ends up in their hair without getting cussed out.
3. if she ever complains about you singing off key in the shower, you can always get cool points by telling her “i was actually just singing ‘queen to be‘, because, you know, you’re my queen”
***this only works, btw, with women born sometime between 1972 and 1985***
4. considering the fact that (aside from prince, giancarlo esposito, and dudley moore) sistas usually don’t go for super short men with straight hair, you don’t have to worry about an angry asian man stealing your girl
i’ve had an irrational fear of short, muscular, asian men since watching tong po kick a hole through a cement wall in kickboxer, so it helps me sleep at night knowing that i probably won’t ever have to fight one to keep my girl.
5. if you all ever happen to get chased by a dog, serial killer, rabid midget clown, alien, or group of mexicans, you won’t have to worry about her doing some dumb shit like falling or stopping to ask the alien if he knows the showtimes for avatar at loews.
i’m sure i’m missing a few.
men of russian-matescom, can you think of any more underrated positives about dating a black woman? also, ladies, are there any under-publicized about benefits of dating a brotha?
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