Approval & Value
Tom asks:
Hi V,
I think i might have a problem with the lesson of “focus on yourself, but don’t become self-centered”. I don’t know how to focus on seeing myself as an important individual people should look up to, without being arrogant and self-centered.
I don’t go around pushing people out of my way, or telling people they are dumber than me, but i feel inside that i want to say “i would have done a better job” and “heh you’re so not worth my attention”.
Am i a bad person for thinking this?
Cheers,
Tom
“I don’t know how to focus on seeing myself as an important individual people should look up to, without being arrogant and self-centered.”
Why would you want to focus on whether or not people are looking up to you? Thoughout time there is has been the mass. I could care less about the mass. The ones you should care about are individuals seeking and being themselves.
A man doesn’t seek praise from others. He seeks praise from himself.
The only “thing” you should seek is approval from your unconscious. Your unconscious contains a vast storage of information and experience, but it waits on a ready conscious mind to reveal itself.
If you aren’t ready for something consciously then your unconscious isn’t going to give it to you.
“…i feel inside that i want to say “i would have done a better job” and “heh you’re so not worth my attention”.”
What is a “better” job? Is it how it looks in the end or how much heart went into that job? Say someone is just learning carpentry and they are building a cabinet. If they put there heart into it and build it to the best of their ability then I’ll respect them for it, even if it looks like crap.
They put their heart into that cabinet, so they should be proud of themselves and SHOULD care less what anyone else thinks.
I find the “worth” of something interesting. Take a bum preaching on the street. He’s saying a lot of truth and people will walk by thinking he’s crazy.
Place that same guy in a suit, clean him up, throw some letters on his name (i.e. M.D., PhD, etc.), and give him some press. People will suddenly find “value” in this guy and call him a genius.
Have everyone you meet on an even playing field (it’s hard, I know). Listen to what they have to say, and then make your decision on that person.
The value of one person to the next shouldn’t differ. When it comes to wasting one’s time now that’s another thing.
If I take the time out to meet someone, and they are late and don’t call, then they are wasting my time, and therefore I will not let them waste anymore of it. That, in my opinion, is acceptable.
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