It’s pretty ’til I had to shovel it.

Unless you get all of your news from TMZ or BET, you’ve heard that the mid-Atlantic region, and specifically the Washington, DC area got dumped on by snow to the tune of 18-30 inches.  For some of us, it’s a welcome, though inconvenient, mini-vacation and time to rest up because you really have no choice. But for some others, being snowed in can be that total bullsh*t.

Oh, by the way, congratulations to all the Saints fans, real and as of this season or proximity-ass fans who decided to jump on the bandwagon yesterday. It was a good game. I can’t even imagine what the French Quarter is like right now. Wish I was there.

Back to business.

While most folks love to hear that their job is closed on a Monday, for everybody it’s not all peaches and cream, peaches and herbs, or strawberry letter 23s. Here’s why:

1) You have to actually dig OUT of snow

Between Saturday and Sunday, I spent a sum total of more than 5 hours shoveling snow. No wonder slavery sucked so bad, aside from the obvious. I have a long walkway and a sizeable sidewalk that I’m responsible for. Condo living never looked so good in my life. Coupled with the fact that this is the 2nd snowiest winter in DC history and I’m about damn tired of snow and everything that comes with it. Oh yeah, AND we’re supposed to get ANOTHER damn snow fall on Tuesday night. The good thing is that all the neighbors come out together to shovel snow. The bad thing is that I have a lot of OLD neighbors. Just imagine the old gay guy from Family Guy out shoveling snow while he’s trying to lure the kiddies into his home with hot chocolate and Lincoln Logs. Shoveling your own snow sucks. Shoveling the snow of an 98-year-old who’s outside “helping” sucks ten times worse.

2) Getting snowed in with somebody you hate

Being stuck with somebody you hate is the worst part of a snow storm. There’s no reason to speak to them and you’re not going to see them naked. There is absolutely no upside here. In effect, you’re stuck inside with somebody who repulses you and you can’t go anywhere but outside to shovel snow. You know you really don’t like somebody when shoveling 2 feet of snow seems like a good way to pass the time, mostly because unless you’re training for the strongman Olympics in Helsinki, it’s NEVER a good way to pass time.

3) No matter how many groceries you get,  you always forget to get stuff you actually want

For some strange reason, being locked in for days makes you yearn for foods you normally could live without. All of a sudden you REALLY want that pizza from Pizza Hut that cannot be delivered without getting your Iranian delivery guy who actually is at work waiting to make a delivery stuck on the road your city is planning on plowing but somehow hasn’t got to yet. DC, I’m looking at you. Plus, you really can’t just eat water, no matter what that Australian cat who hit the big kahuna via a stingray might have told you before. Plus, you know how Black folks are, bought all kinds of bread but forgot to get sandwich meat. Got people eating loaf sandwiches with sugar on top. Or you could just go get some snow and everybody can eat sno-cones. Don’t eat the yellow snow though.

4) You get snowed OUT of your home

Across the DC area, there are people stuck at airports waiting to leave, stuck at other people’s homes, etc. If there’s one thing that sucks more than being stuck IN your own home for days on end, it’s being stuck OUT of your home for days on end. No using your own shower in your own bathroom and sleeping in your own bed. Plus, that usually leads to number 2 at some point. I mean if you’re stuck out of your own place for a while, you’re gonna get edgy and piss somebody off. It’s the law of nature. Well that and “eat things that are smaller than you unless your name is Shaq”.

For me, this isn’t a terrible experience; I don’t have any of those problems save number 1, but I do realize how it can suck. Good VSBiens, for what other reasons might it suck to get snowed in? Amuse me while I kiss the sky.

(Really I just wanted to vent somethings though; I REALLY hate shoveling snow.)

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