10 women every (straight) black woman seems to go gay for
10 Women Every (Straight) Black Woman Seems To Go Gay Gor
“Omg. i’m not gay, but i’d soooo do bad things to her. i’d also do good things to her too. i’d definitely buy her brunch and help her build miniature furniture pieces. “
This was the reaction of a female friend of mine yesterday when i told her that paula patton has been cast as the new DA on law & order: SVU (or, as i like to call it, law & order for melodramatic dummies).
Ignoring the double standard (lets just say that it probably wouldn’t be as cute to anyone if a man said “i’m soooo not gay, but i’d definitely like to take a rock climbing class with derrick rose“), it’s common and kinda of funny to hear straight women (half)jokingly make mention of women they’re crushing on. sometimes these comments are based on pure physical/sexual attraction. other times it’s envy and/or admiration. and, sometimes she’s just a penis pandering freak. either way, it always makes for an interesting (and telling) discussion.
With black women, although you might hear anyone from tracee ellis ross to sanya richards name-dropped, 10 women seem to come up in these discussions/conversations/drunkenly lascivious confessions more than any other, women that every (straight) black woman seems to go gay for (nttawwt)
Jill scott
The girl-crush some women have on jilly from philly is so intense that a man can actually become more attractive in their eyes if he admits an attraction to her within ear shot. seriously, i’ve actually witnessed dudes get panties just on the strength of jill scott girlgasm osmosis.
Kerry washington
I’m trying to pin-point when exactly she became such a perpetual panty-wetter. if i had to guess, i’d say that her general haughtiness (and surprisingly intense sex scene) in she hate me cemented her status.
Jada pinkett
Combines spunk, perfectly symmetrical beauty, and a general free-spirited-ness (qualities all women go gaga for in other women) into one 72 pound package. plus, if the rumors are true, they actually have a shot at fulfilling their fantasies
Janet jackson
Lets just say that the “that’s the way love goes” video caused more chicks to consider permanently switching teams than the thought of flavor flav
Michelle obama
Doesn’t necessarily seem to inspire women to say that they’d do her, but they all seem to want to be built like her (if i had a dollar for everytime i’ve heard a woman say they wanted “michelle obama arms” i’d have like 22 dollars), and that’s just as gay
Eva pigford
Also makes the cut on the list of “hot women that women seem to be much more sexually attracted to than men are”
Nia long
Every 25 to 40 year old sista seems to want to be her and inside her at the same time. i guess this would either be an advanced form of narcissism or the ultimate manifestation of the evolved form of black female sexuality first alluded to in cleopatra jones and the casino of gold.
Either way, i just got an erection.
Tina turner
My mom, who’s in her mid-50’s, still says that she wants to be tina turner when she grows up. because i feel all kinds of awkward now that i’ve included my mom in the same entry were i used the term “girlgasm osmosis“, i’m just going to move on
Aaliyah
If i had to guess, i’d say that more women masturbate to aaliyah tracks than any other artist. in fact, if i had to rank “artists that i think black women listen to when masturbating in their bedrooms at night“, aaliyah would be 1st, maxwell would be 2nd, janet jackson would be 3rd, and magoo would be 233rd
Erykah badu
***taken from the blog of luvvie, the gayest woman on the internet***
I think Erykah Badu’s booty has turned me lesbo. Someone in my life ain’t gon appreciate that. But then again… I still don’t like extra estrogen or the women behind them. I got all the estrogen I need in my life. So what does that mean? I guess she’s like a red mustang in 100 degree heat. You look from afar but you know you can’t touch because it’d burn you. Wait… that metaphor took a turn somewhere really dark. Ignore it.
definitely gay as hell.
anyway, people of vsb.com, did i miss anybody? can you think of any other women who seem to turn sistas gay at their mere mention?
also, ladies, what other girlcrushes have you harbored?
don’t be scurred. we’re all family and sh*t
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