Have you ever approached a woman, and had the feeling she’s more afraid of you than pestilence, a zombie apocalypse, or Chris Brown?  It can be difficult to know what creeps women out.  Every woman is different.  Some might love your penchant for collecting Star Wars action figures—while others will get the heebie-jeebies.  But some things are universally creepy.  Commit these social faux pas and risk certain doom!

1. Trying to take her home too early in the interaction.  Of course, the end result of any romantic interaction is sex, but you shouldn’t press the issue.  It needs to be natural.  Focusing your efforts on sex makes your person of interest (POI) question your motives.  Are you really interested in what she’s saying, or do you just want nookie?
2. Interrogating her.  This one is common.  Do you find yourself asking a million questions with no idea where to lead the conversation?  A barrage of unwelcome questions is about as useful to your seduction as approaching with the statement, “Hi.  I’m not very interesting, but I’d like to bore the shit out of you in hopes that you’ll find pity on me and give me a hand job in the restroom.”  My point?  Don’t interrogate—or ask for hand jobs in the restroom—women don’t like that sort of thing.  I give some great advice in my book about holding a conversation without making her feel like the KGB is questioning her.
3. Getting drunk.  Getting drunk tells her that you can’t handle yourself in public.  It might scare her too.  She’ll worry that you could hurt her or her friends, or you might attract more trouble with your belligerence.
4. Picking a fight.  Trying to wrestle your POI away from another man is a one-way ticket to Disasterland.  She’s not going to be impressed that you beat up some dude.  Picking fights sends the message that you solve your problems with your fists.
5. Strange attire.  This one is going to catch a lot of heat from supposed “pickup artists”.  They’ll quote PUA demigods like Mystery or Neil Strauss, or perhaps point out the fact that I’m covered in tattoos.  I’m not saying it’s bad to stand out in the crowd, but there’s a fine line between wearing a unique outfit that garners attention and wearing cheetah print underwear outside of your blue jeans (true story).
6. Sending repeated messages to her phone before she responds to the first text.  Few things will make you look needier than sending a bunch of messages to her phone before she’s had a chance to answer your first message.  As she looks at the conversation thread she’ll have a visual reminder of how much more you are investing into the relationship than she is.  Plus she’ll wonder why you have so much free time to keep texting.
7. Inappropriate touch.  Do I really need to write something for this?  If you’re unsure of what’s inappropriate, don’t touch her in anyway other than something like a handshake, tap on the arm, or similar gesture until she’s indicated that it’s okay to touch.
8. Haunting her.  If you’re going to approach—APPROACH.  Don’t walk to the table and hover.  It makes you look creepier than Count Orlok from Nosferatu.  Don’t hesitate.  Decide whether or not to approach, and act.  Balking will almost certainly ruin your chances of a successful approach.
9. Approaching from her blind spot.  Avoid approaching women from behind.  It startles them, and it’s hard to recover from a misstep like that.
10. Blocking her exit.  I had a client approach a woman walking in the opposite direction down a sidewalk.  He jumped in front of her to start a conversation.  It frightened the woman, and she tried to walk around him, but he shuffled to the side to keep her in front of him.  Thankfully I swooped in to save him from an inevitable pepper spray to the face.  Don’t get in her way, especially if it’s her only exit route.  No one likes to be cornered, and she might respond with violence.

Some of this stuff seems obvious, but I see it everywhere.  Become mindful of these mistakes.  Do everything you can to eradicate them from your behavior.  You might be a great guy, but once she labels you as “creepy” there’s no hope for recovery.

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